Things had settled down quite a bit with my in-laws around the holiday time. They were very nice, not overbearing, and acted fairly decently—for them, that is. They still told us what gifts to buy for their children, although they did buy some themselves this year. I almost thought, “Gee, I may have to take down this weblog. I think they’ve changed their ways. I certainly can’t have vengeance toward people who are trying their best to be half-way decent.”
Well, they must have just been feeling under the weather, because this New Year has them, once again, showing their true colors. Just when I was about to let my guard down too. It’ll be a long time before I do THAT again.
Trust me when I say that NO GOOD CAN COME FROM TRUSTING LIARS AND MANIPULATORS!
Here’s the story of my idiots-in-law, as I like to refer to them:
My husband took vacation days between Christmas and New Years. He spent a lot of time with both my family and his during this time. His last day of vacation was on Monday, January 2nd. He just wanted to unwind from the busy holidays and relax before heading back to work. We were going to go out that day but decided to just take it easy at home instead because my husband was tired and had a bit of a headache.
On January 1st, late at night, we got an email from our brother-in-law. He says he would like to stop by for about an hour or so before his doctor’s appointment on the 2nd to “help” us with our investment portfolio (because he's just so much smarter than we are and can better spend our money than we can. Personally, I think he’s just nosey and wants to know all of our business—all the better for manipulating us later on).
Well, my husband was asleep when the email came in, and I didn’t bother answering it. I didn’t really mind if my brother-in-law came by for about an hour or so, but I sensed immediately that the entire family was trying to finagle an invitation for the afternoon from us. I was hoping to talk to my husband about this in the morning. But I was too late. He already replied to the email by the time I woke up, and he told the brother-in-law to come on over.
I cringed when my husband said he had replied already, and he wanted to know what was wrong. I then told him, "I don't mind if our brother-in-law comes to talk to us for an hour or so, but I don't want your whole family coming over for the entire day."
Then my husband says, "They're not coming over. Just our brother-in-law. He's coming at 2 p.m. and then will leave by 3:30 for his doctor's appointment."
I said, "Nope. They're all coming. I guarantee it! That's why he sent an email last night. To open the door for an invitation. They wanted us to reply ‘Sure, come over. Be sure to bring the family too.’ And the reason he sent it at night rather than just calling us in the morning was so that if we DIDN’T invite them, they would have time to pull their classic manipulation scheme that they pull every time they are not wanted somewhere!” (His mother is EXPERT at this!) I then warned him, “Be VERY careful or they will all come over today, we will hardly get a chance to talk to brother-in-law about our investments because your sister and mother will NOT mind the kids and brother-in-law will have to keep stopping to deal with them, and your family will monopolize the entire last day of your vacation.”
My husband says, "No, no, no. You're wrong. It's not like that . . . blah, blah, blah"
So . . . The phone rings the first time. My husband talks briefly, saying something like, "No. Just have [brother-in-law] come over. This way we can talk without interruption and then he can go to his appointment and we can move on with our day."
The phone rings a second time. My husband says, "I'm not sure what the weather is going to do. It's really best—for a lot of reasons—if only [brother-in-law] comes over and you stay put."
The phone rings a third time. Husband wanders off to where I can't hear the conversation. He comes back with that tell-tale look of shame in his eyes and says, "My sister insists on coming over with [brother-in-law]. She PROMISES to watch the kids while we talk. My mother's coming too and she will help my sister. In fact, they are going to take the kids to the local museum and will be out of our hair most of the day."
Without going into detail, I pretty much called his sister AND his mother every name they deserve plus a few extras. I told my husband that both his sister AND mother were a couple of manipulative bitches. And his sister is just a little girl who has to lie her way through life because she HAS to guarantee that everything goes her own way regardless of what anybody else wants.
HE AGREED! He actually agreed with me!
Then I told him, “I knew LAST NIGHT when I got the email that it was all about manipulating an invitation from us. Why else would brother-in-law email us in the night when he was going to have to call us in the morning anyway? The reason is: They wanted to get a foothold in the door by saying he would stop by all by himself for just an hour or so. Once it was guaranteed that we would be home, that's when they would take the opportunity to invite themselves over. EVEN AFTER TELLING THEM TWICE NOT TO COME!
I proceeded to tell my husband . . . 1. They're NOT going to the local museum. Your sister only said that because you were giving her resistance about coming over. She has NO INTENTION of taking the kids ANYWHERE. 2. She's NOT going to watch the kids while we talk to our brother-in-law. She hasn't watched her kids since the day she became a mother, she's not going to start doing it now. And 3. She's only coming here because her husband has a doctor's appointment which means SHE needs to watch the kids. She doesn't WANT to watch the kids. She wants YOU to watch her kids.
Well . . . when they arrived, my liar of a sister-in-law had a big pillow case of toys for the kids to play with. Kind of strange, since they were supposed to be going to the local museum!
Then, while we're (trying) to talk with our brother-in-law—or should I say, while he was talking down to us like we were five year olds receiving an allowance for the first time in our lives--the kids interrupted us no less than 6 times, sister-in-law interrupted us twice, and mother-in-law once. We finally had to go upstairs and shut our office door.
Now, how did I know my sister-in-law wasn't going to the museum? How did I know she wasn’t going to watch her kids? I must be psychic or something. My powers amaze me!
Anyway . . . after our brother-in-law leaves for his appointment, my sister-in-law starts taking an attitude with my husband. The poor guy had no idea why! He did nothing but lay down on the ground so that his bitch of a sister could walk all over him and that STILL wasn't good enough for her!
She had wanted to feed the kids (she had to bring food with her because my husband had told her on the phone that we had nothing here to offer them—in fact, had they not come, we would have been grocery shopping) and all my plates were in the dishwasher so she had to use paper plates. She was SO insulted. HOW DARE WE not roll out the red carpet for her and make sure our dishes are done when we haven't even invited anybody over in the first place!
Then, she LIES to her own brother and blames her own kids for something SHE did! It wasn't even worth lying about because it wasn't a big deal and was SO trivial, but a LIAR IS A LIAR and she can't do anything differently. So, while I was helping brother-in-law move an extra chair from one room into our office, I heard my sister-in-law call to her kids, "[Son, daughter.] Do you want a banana? Come in the kitchen if you want a banana!" Afterwards, my sister-in-law says, "The kids got into your bananas so there are two missing. I'm sorry. They just got at them before I had a chance to stop them." She totally lied about it! If she had admitted that she helped herself to our fruit, she might have had to—God forbid—say “thank you!” She would have actually had to acknowledge my husband’s generosity! So, instead she lies. If the bananas got taken accidentally, then of course there’s no need to say “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” or “I appreciate it” or anything. She SO has to keep herself high above everybody. They all lie like this, CONSTANTLY. It’s not only bizarre—it’s disgusting. There’s such a competition in that family to be holier than the others. But they are all so IMMORAL—liars, cheaters, manipulators. All they care about is the ILLUSION that they are so wonderful. Don’t ever expect them to actually TRY to be good people. It will never happen! They are too evil! They lie about things that don’t even matter! Why would anybody even care that she took two stinking bananas. We had a whole bunch lying there anyway. It’s all about sister-in-law’s superiority. It would kill her if she EVER had to say “thanks” to somebody as “low” as me or her brother!
ANYWAY . . . to make a long story even longer . . . After our brother-in-law’s appointment, my sister-in-law didn't even let him back into our home—she just left in a huff.
I was glad. Good riddance to stinky trash, I say! But my husband felt bad and was very confused. He had no idea what else he was supposed to do to please his sister. He let her come over even though he didn’t want her to come over. He didn’t say a word when she let the kids—as usual—run amok and out of control. He helped her find paper plates and get things set up so the kids could eat. Basically, he sacrificed his entire last vacation day for her even though he was suffering a headache and would have rather have just been watching television or relaxing.
So, I told my husband, "I know you don't want to hear this. But I'm going to say it as calmly and gently as possible. You will NEVER be good enough for your sister. As far as she's concerned she's the center of the universe and we’re all here to serve her. You could have been Mother Theresa, and she would have been offended that you didn't serve her enough. She's the one who came over uninvited. You gave her more hospitality than she deserved and far more than I would ever give to an uninvited guest—especially one who I already said 'no' to twice. I say let her be huffy and she can stew in her own juices. I doubt she's even thinking about you right now. She's too busy thinking of herself, and you should do the same."
Well, he called her after she got home, because he knew he wouldn't sleep well that night because he was so upset about everything and feeling so guilty even though he went above and beyond kindness. Anyway, he asked his sister why she left the way she did.
Her answer was, "You hurt my feelings. I expect you to be jovial when we come to visit and you weren't!" That basically translates to, "You're just a clown, a court jester, and a buffoon. I'm offended that you dare to have other personality traits that don’t suit MY needs, you lowlife piece of turd."
What pissed me off more than what she said to him then was the fact that when my husband told her that he had had a headache all day and that’s what made him less jovial than usual, she had said, "Oh, I didn't realize that. THAT would have made all the difference if you had just said so."
I about HIT THE ROOF when he told me she said that to him because IN HER PRESENCE—AT LEAST THREE TIMES—I had asked my husband, “How's your head feeling?" and "Did you take an Advil yet?" and "Is it a nauseous migraine or is it just muscular from your neck?"
And, anyway, since when does my husband (or anybody for that matter) have to EXPLAIN his attitude or emotions to that immature little girl! Who in HELL does she think she is! Pardon me, but JESUS HELP ME! Now we all need to get HER DAMN PERMISSION before we're ALLOWED to have a headache?
I CANNOT STAND HER! I CAN’T STOP MYSELF FROM WISHING HER DEAD—PREFERABLY IF SHE SUFFERS A BIT FIRST!
SHE IS SO FULL OF HERSELF that she never even noticed her own brother wasn't feeling well—in spite of the fact we were talking about it! SHE IS ALSO SO FULL OF HERSELF because she ASSUMES that my husband’s mood is a direct reflection ON HER rather than just asking him why he’s being quiet! “Yes, oh great one, our life is all focused on you and you only! We have no feelings or emotions or anything except as they relate to YOU!!! May I kiss your sweet rose-scented ass now? Please??!!”
If she saw some poor unfortunate soul lying in the street bleeding to death, she would find a way to make the situation all about herself. And it would never occur to her to call for help for the person. She would just walk away insulted that the person had the gall to bleed in front of her.
The world does not need people like her in it! She’s a waste of oxygen as far as I’m concerned!