Sunday, December 10, 2006

How Far I’ve Come

I want to thank all my readers who have left supportive and encouraging comments for me. I also want to apologize for not posting an update sooner. Many times I have tried writing up an entry but was unable to fully express what was really going on.

My life has been a roller-coaster ride for the most part. When I would start to write an entry about how sad, angry, or guilty I was feeling, I would start to feel strong, healthy, and positive and would have to stop writing whatever it was I was trying to say. In the opposite direction, when I tried writing about all the wonderful things that were happening to me, I would suddenly begin feeling sad, angry, or guilty and couldn’t continue writing.

Things now seem to be leveling off a bit. I’m settled in a nice, yet too small, studio apartment. I’m self-employed part-time right now. I’m trying to get enough work to make it full-time, but the benefit of having a lot of down time is that I have time to think and relax and step out to have a little bit of fun that has been missing from my life for so long.

I do have a lot of worries and concerns. For example, my savings is dwindling faster than I can replace it (although this process is gradually reversing), when our divorce is final (mid to late January) I’m not sure where I will stand with health insurance, and I’m constantly concerned about my financial future. Other than worrying about money matters, however, life has been wonderful.

This whole experience has been my chance to reinvent myself and to create a new life. A few good friends have stuck by my side like family members, and I have also made some wonderful new friends who bring so much joy to my life.

I do worry about whether or not I will ever have another boyfriend. I worry about how the past abuse I suffered will carry over into a new relationship. I’m seeing a counselor once a week (which is why I need the health insurance so badly) to talk about these things and this has been very helpful.

The counselor tells me I may have post-traumatic stress disorder because of things I have been through. I rarely talk about this, and I don’t think I’ve even mentioned it in this blog as I’ve mostly just been griping about my in-laws, but early in my marriage my husband physically abused me. I was able to get him to change this behavior through marriage counseling and through threats by both me and my parents that if he ever hurt me again the police would be called. Of course, the physical abuse only converted over to verbal and emotional abuse...

I had no idea at the time just how hurtful verbal and emotional abuse could be. If I had known, I would have left a lot sooner. When I look back into my journals, I find notes to myself as far back as 1999 telling myself that “things have to change,” “I may have to leave,” and “my spirit is dying.” Tucked in my notebooks are scraps of paper with lists of things I’ll need to take with me, things I’ll need to purchase, things I’ll have to do such as earn an income, find an apartment, call a lawyer, etc. So, I had actually been planning on leaving even long before I was consciously aware I was planning to leave. The day that I did actually leave, I was working in “automatic pilot” mode. It seems I had rehearsed things so well in my mind, that I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing. I also think God and His guardian angels were helping me. My health had been so poor that I didn’t think I was going to be able to pack very much or take very much, but the day of the move I never got fatigued. And I actually had to move twice. My apartment wasn’t ready the day I moved, so I moved my things first to my parents’ house where I stayed for two weeks, then moved it all again when my apartment was ready. Of course, my Dad and older brother helped with the heavy things. But I did a lot of it on my own. If you had known how sick I was back then—I had lost over 60 lbs. and was grossly underweight—you would know that my ability to do any of this was nothing short of miraculous!

Two days after moving, my health began turning around and my weight began coming back. This tells me that it was my marriage relationship that was making me so unwell. I think if I had stayed, it would have eventually killed me. My weight loss problem was that serious.

Every day I feel better and better. Since leaving my husband, I think I have cried maybe about four or five times. The whole rest of the time has been smiles and happiness and hopefulness.

I still have issues to work on. I feel guilty about the impending divorce. I still carry some anger in me, which doesn’t make me feel very good. And I have very little idea what the future holds for me. I hate not knowing what’s coming down the road. But I’m learning to have faith: faith in God and faith in my own abilities to manage my life. This whole process has been an adventure, and I think as long as I look at it that way I will continue on with the smiles and happiness and hopefulness. And that’s all I really need . . .

Friday, April 14, 2006

I Did It!

Well . . . I did it. I left him.
I don't know whether I'm glad or sad or mad or what. I guess I'm a combination of all these things. Glad that I can now take control over my own self and build a life that is healthy for me to live in. Sad that I have to leave the man that I love in order to keep my spirit--and possibly my body--alive. Mad that my husband has allowed this to happen by not taking me seriously, by placing his mother and his sister above his wife and making me the "other woman" in this strange relationship, and for making our home--and our very life together--a place of tension and fear in spite of all my efforts to make it a place where we could both prosper.
I didn't want to do it, but there was nothing else I could do. I am physically and mentally unhealthy and I have tried to get well for several years now. How can one heal in such a toxic environment?
I miss my husband. I sense that he misses me too. But what else can I do?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Painted in a Corner

I haven’t posted in a while, but that doesn’t mean there hasn’t been drama. For the most part it has been quiet drama. As usual, the in-laws are all smiles and sweetness, but the lies and manipulations never end. I simply cannot take any more of this and have refused to visit with them for over a month now. It’s simply pointless to sit there listening to them when I know every-other sentence is a lie and every new conversation has deeper meaning beyond simply making small talk—meaning they are fishing for information and they are trying to manipulate yet again.

My husband and my in-laws have painted me into a corner. I don’t want to divorce my husband, but he will not be my partner in life. He is cheating on me, not by having a sexual affair, but by making his sister and mother his life partners rather than me. I have lost almost all autonomy.

My in-laws make almost all of our decisions for us. My husband sees nothing wrong with letting them decide where we will live, how we will live, what our financial investments will be, what major purchases we will make. He denies that he’s letting them do this, but the evidence is right there to see.

We are supposed to be house-hunting soon. So, rather than talk to me about where we would like to live and what type of house we’d like, he goes to his family and discusses it with them. I can barely get him to talk to me about it. And when I do, my dreams get shot down every time with statements like, “My sister said such-and-such neighborhood isn’t any good,” “My mother wants us to have a bigger house, so we have to put our money into the size of the house rather than in the quality or in the acreage, etc.,” “My sister said she will tell us when the market is good enough to purchase a home. Right now she wants us to wait.” You get the picture, right? Why can’t he see this? Why does his family get to make these decisions?

My husband says that if I don’t like it, I can take it up with them. Yet, when I tell them that my husband and I will make the decisions about what we do they just laugh. And it’s no wonder. They KNOW my husband will cave in to their demands. They have him emotionally blackmailed. He’s so afraid they will think less of him—even make him a blacksheep—if he doesn’t abide by every one of their wishes.

There are now stores that my husband and I are not supposed to shop in because his family doesn’t like them. I finally convinced my husband we should shop there anyway because we don’t have a six-figure income and we need to spend more thoughtfully than the rest of his family. I think the only reason he agrees with me on this is because we have no choice financially speaking. But he’s always afraid his family will find out where we did our shopping. Who cares? Why do they even have to ask us where we got stuff? I mean, they quiz us about where we buy our toothpaste, garbage bags, walnuts . . . everything. Who cares? I don’t even know where my own family gets their stuff. I assume at the stores that are local to them, but I would never presume to make it my business to know.

My husband says that if all of this upsets me, I need to speak up to his sister and mother. I am willing to do this. I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time, but he’s had this rule throughout most of our marriage that nobody is allowed to say anything displeasing to his sister or mother. (I can speak freely to his brother for some reason, but I’m never allowed to speak freely to the females. I can only placate them. Then he wonders why I don’t enjoy spending any time with them, but that’s another issue.) He says his sister wants to talk to me about all of this because she wants us to become friends (said the spider to the fly), but I think that HE thinks I’m only going to placate her further. When I tell her what’s TRULY on my mind, my husband will want to divorce me for sure. I don’t want to divorce him. I only want him to grow up. But what can I do? He’s forcing me to have the very conversation that he DOESN’T WANT me to have with his sister. Is he looking for an excuse to divorce me? Is this his round-about way of trying to be grown up? (By getting me to speak up to his family rather than him?)

I also want to tell his sister that I know she lies and manipulates. She thinks she’s so sneaky, but most everybody can see right through her. My husband is not going to like me giving her this revelation.

I’ve been so stressed out over this whole matter, which is why I haven’t posted recently. It upsets me to even type this out.

I’ve tried everything for over a dozen years to make this a happy marriage and to keep our marriage together, but I am all out of ideas. I can no longer focus on the marriage. Through prayer and counseling I have reached the conclusion that the best I can do is to do the right thing at every step. If the marriage ends in divorce at least I will know I tried all that I could. I just wish my husband would/could do his part. I could be happy if he would be my partner in life, but I can’t force anybody to do that.

Here’s something that would be funny if I didn’t have to live in the middle of it—whenever my husband’s family comes over we have to go through the home hiding things. One time I had a box of snacks on the counter and my husband was madly searching for a hiding place because he didn’t want his family to know that we had snacks in the home. (Oh, we’re such immoral people!) Another time, we had fruit on hand, and he wanted to hide this too. I asked him why, since it wasn’t junk food. This time it was because it was his mother’s favorite food and he thought she would be upset at the fact that we got our own supply of this fruit but didn’t get any for her! I said, “You can offer some to her when she gets here.” And he said, “It’s too late. I should have already told her about it. Now she’ll wonder why I didn’t tell her we had it.”

Can you believe this? I wouldn’t if I weren’t living it. It’s so bizarre that I can’t even make sense of it. My brain feels like it’s permanently warped from trying to even make sense of it.

I can’t live like this much longer. I’m approaching my middle years and I’m sneaking around hiding things like an eight-year-old sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar. In my own home, no less!

I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling so aggravated by all of this . . . Why can’t those people mind their own business? Better yet, why can’t my husband make them mind their own business?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I Almost Let My Guard Down

Things had settled down quite a bit with my in-laws around the holiday time. They were very nice, not overbearing, and acted fairly decently—for them, that is. They still told us what gifts to buy for their children, although they did buy some themselves this year. I almost thought, “Gee, I may have to take down this weblog. I think they’ve changed their ways. I certainly can’t have vengeance toward people who are trying their best to be half-way decent.”

Well, they must have just been feeling under the weather, because this New Year has them, once again, showing their true colors. Just when I was about to let my guard down too. It’ll be a long time before I do THAT again.


Here’s the story of my idiots-in-law, as I like to refer to them:

My husband took vacation days between Christmas and New Years. He spent a lot of time with both my family and his during this time. His last day of vacation was on Monday, January 2nd. He just wanted to unwind from the busy holidays and relax before heading back to work. We were going to go out that day but decided to just take it easy at home instead because my husband was tired and had a bit of a headache.

On January 1st, late at night, we got an email from our brother-in-law. He says he would like to stop by for about an hour or so before his doctor’s appointment on the 2nd to “help” us with our investment portfolio (because he's just so much smarter than we are and can better spend our money than we can. Personally, I think he’s just nosey and wants to know all of our business—all the better for manipulating us later on).

Well, my husband was asleep when the email came in, and I didn’t bother answering it. I didn’t really mind if my brother-in-law came by for about an hour or so, but I sensed immediately that the entire family was trying to finagle an invitation for the afternoon from us. I was hoping to talk to my husband about this in the morning. But I was too late. He already replied to the email by the time I woke up, and he told the brother-in-law to come on over.

I cringed when my husband said he had replied already, and he wanted to know what was wrong. I then told him, "I don't mind if our brother-in-law comes to talk to us for an hour or so, but I don't want your whole family coming over for the entire day."

Then my husband says, "They're not coming over. Just our brother-in-law. He's coming at 2 p.m. and then will leave by 3:30 for his doctor's appointment."

I said, "Nope. They're all coming. I guarantee it! That's why he sent an email last night. To open the door for an invitation. They wanted us to reply ‘Sure, come over. Be sure to bring the family too.’ And the reason he sent it at night rather than just calling us in the morning was so that if we DIDN’T invite them, they would have time to pull their classic manipulation scheme that they pull every time they are not wanted somewhere!” (His mother is EXPERT at this!) I then warned him, “Be VERY careful or they will all come over today, we will hardly get a chance to talk to brother-in-law about our investments because your sister and mother will NOT mind the kids and brother-in-law will have to keep stopping to deal with them, and your family will monopolize the entire last day of your vacation.”

My husband says, "No, no, no. You're wrong. It's not like that . . . blah, blah, blah"

So . . . The phone rings the first time. My husband talks briefly, saying something like, "No. Just have [brother-in-law] come over. This way we can talk without interruption and then he can go to his appointment and we can move on with our day."

The phone rings a second time. My husband says, "I'm not sure what the weather is going to do. It's really best—for a lot of reasons—if only [brother-in-law] comes over and you stay put."

The phone rings a third time. Husband wanders off to where I can't hear the conversation. He comes back with that tell-tale look of shame in his eyes and says, "My sister insists on coming over with [brother-in-law]. She PROMISES to watch the kids while we talk. My mother's coming too and she will help my sister. In fact, they are going to take the kids to the local museum and will be out of our hair most of the day."

Without going into detail, I pretty much called his sister AND his mother every name they deserve plus a few extras. I told my husband that both his sister AND mother were a couple of manipulative bitches. And his sister is just a little girl who has to lie her way through life because she HAS to guarantee that everything goes her own way regardless of what anybody else wants.

HE AGREED! He actually agreed with me!

Then I told him, “I knew LAST NIGHT when I got the email that it was all about manipulating an invitation from us. Why else would brother-in-law email us in the night when he was going to have to call us in the morning anyway? The reason is: They wanted to get a foothold in the door by saying he would stop by all by himself for just an hour or so. Once it was guaranteed that we would be home, that's when they would take the opportunity to invite themselves over. EVEN AFTER TELLING THEM TWICE NOT TO COME!

I proceeded to tell my husband . . . 1. They're NOT going to the local museum. Your sister only said that because you were giving her resistance about coming over. She has NO INTENTION of taking the kids ANYWHERE. 2. She's NOT going to watch the kids while we talk to our brother-in-law. She hasn't watched her kids since the day she became a mother, she's not going to start doing it now. And 3. She's only coming here because her husband has a doctor's appointment which means SHE needs to watch the kids. She doesn't WANT to watch the kids. She wants YOU to watch her kids.

Well . . . when they arrived, my liar of a sister-in-law had a big pillow case of toys for the kids to play with. Kind of strange, since they were supposed to be going to the local museum!

Then, while we're (trying) to talk with our brother-in-law—or should I say, while he was talking down to us like we were five year olds receiving an allowance for the first time in our lives--the kids interrupted us no less than 6 times, sister-in-law interrupted us twice, and mother-in-law once. We finally had to go upstairs and shut our office door.

Now, how did I know my sister-in-law wasn't going to the museum? How did I know she wasn’t going to watch her kids? I must be psychic or something. My powers amaze me!

Anyway . . . after our brother-in-law leaves for his appointment, my sister-in-law starts taking an attitude with my husband. The poor guy had no idea why! He did nothing but lay down on the ground so that his bitch of a sister could walk all over him and that STILL wasn't good enough for her!

She had wanted to feed the kids (she had to bring food with her because my husband had told her on the phone that we had nothing here to offer them—in fact, had they not come, we would have been grocery shopping) and all my plates were in the dishwasher so she had to use paper plates. She was SO insulted. HOW DARE WE not roll out the red carpet for her and make sure our dishes are done when we haven't even invited anybody over in the first place!

Then, she LIES to her own brother and blames her own kids for something SHE did! It wasn't even worth lying about because it wasn't a big deal and was SO trivial, but a LIAR IS A LIAR and she can't do anything differently. So, while I was helping brother-in-law move an extra chair from one room into our office, I heard my sister-in-law call to her kids, "[Son, daughter.] Do you want a banana? Come in the kitchen if you want a banana!" Afterwards, my sister-in-law says, "The kids got into your bananas so there are two missing. I'm sorry. They just got at them before I had a chance to stop them." She totally lied about it! If she had admitted that she helped herself to our fruit, she might have had to—God forbid—say “thank you!” She would have actually had to acknowledge my husband’s generosity! So, instead she lies. If the bananas got taken accidentally, then of course there’s no need to say “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” or “I appreciate it” or anything. She SO has to keep herself high above everybody. They all lie like this, CONSTANTLY. It’s not only bizarre—it’s disgusting. There’s such a competition in that family to be holier than the others. But they are all so IMMORAL—liars, cheaters, manipulators. All they care about is the ILLUSION that they are so wonderful. Don’t ever expect them to actually TRY to be good people. It will never happen! They are too evil! They lie about things that don’t even matter! Why would anybody even care that she took two stinking bananas. We had a whole bunch lying there anyway. It’s all about sister-in-law’s superiority. It would kill her if she EVER had to say “thanks” to somebody as “low” as me or her brother!

ANYWAY . . . to make a long story even longer . . . After our brother-in-law’s appointment, my sister-in-law didn't even let him back into our home—she just left in a huff.

I was glad. Good riddance to stinky trash, I say! But my husband felt bad and was very confused. He had no idea what else he was supposed to do to please his sister. He let her come over even though he didn’t want her to come over. He didn’t say a word when she let the kids—as usual—run amok and out of control. He helped her find paper plates and get things set up so the kids could eat. Basically, he sacrificed his entire last vacation day for her even though he was suffering a headache and would have rather have just been watching television or relaxing.

So, I told my husband, "I know you don't want to hear this. But I'm going to say it as calmly and gently as possible. You will NEVER be good enough for your sister. As far as she's concerned she's the center of the universe and we’re all here to serve her. You could have been Mother Theresa, and she would have been offended that you didn't serve her enough. She's the one who came over uninvited. You gave her more hospitality than she deserved and far more than I would ever give to an uninvited guest—especially one who I already said 'no' to twice. I say let her be huffy and she can stew in her own juices. I doubt she's even thinking about you right now. She's too busy thinking of herself, and you should do the same."

Well, he called her after she got home, because he knew he wouldn't sleep well that night because he was so upset about everything and feeling so guilty even though he went above and beyond kindness. Anyway, he asked his sister why she left the way she did.

Her answer was, "You hurt my feelings. I expect you to be jovial when we come to visit and you weren't!" That basically translates to, "You're just a clown, a court jester, and a buffoon. I'm offended that you dare to have other personality traits that don’t suit MY needs, you lowlife piece of turd."

What pissed me off more than what she said to him then was the fact that when my husband told her that he had had a headache all day and that’s what made him less jovial than usual, she had said, "Oh, I didn't realize that. THAT would have made all the difference if you had just said so."

I about HIT THE ROOF when he told me she said that to him because IN HER PRESENCE—AT LEAST THREE TIMES—I had asked my husband, “How's your head feeling?" and "Did you take an Advil yet?" and "Is it a nauseous migraine or is it just muscular from your neck?"

And, anyway, since when does my husband (or anybody for that matter) have to EXPLAIN his attitude or emotions to that immature little girl! Who in HELL does she think she is! Pardon me, but JESUS HELP ME! Now we all need to get HER DAMN PERMISSION before we're ALLOWED to have a headache?


SHE IS SO FULL OF HERSELF that she never even noticed her own brother wasn't feeling well—in spite of the fact we were talking about it! SHE IS ALSO SO FULL OF HERSELF because she ASSUMES that my husband’s mood is a direct reflection ON HER rather than just asking him why he’s being quiet! “Yes, oh great one, our life is all focused on you and you only! We have no feelings or emotions or anything except as they relate to YOU!!! May I kiss your sweet rose-scented ass now? Please??!!”

If she saw some poor unfortunate soul lying in the street bleeding to death, she would find a way to make the situation all about herself. And it would never occur to her to call for help for the person. She would just walk away insulted that the person had the gall to bleed in front of her.

The world does not need people like her in it! She’s a waste of oxygen as far as I’m concerned!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

My Sister-in-Law's Mouth

Every time my sister-in-law opens her mouth, something stupid comes out of it. I could ALMOST tolerate her if she would just go mute. You would never guess in a million years that she is college educated and has a good career. But that’s all she’s good for. She has book smarts—only in her profession, however—and absolutely no common sense.

Because my husband and I weren’t going to be around for Thanksgiving, we agreed that we would have a nice dinner with his family after we returned from our holiday. When we were settling on a date to get together, I explicitly said that it couldn’t be this weekend. I had a meeting and a lot of baking to do for other engagements that I am involved in and would have no time for visiting let alone do additional cooking for a fancy dinner.

So, what do my ignorant in-laws do? They invite themselves over this weekend. What does my spineless husband say? Nothing, other than to say, “Come on over!”

To my husband’s credit, he does tell them that they will have to eat out at a restaurant because—once again—he reminds them that I do not have any food to offer them nor time to visit with them in my home (especially since they don’t supervise their kids and they love to play with the oven regardless of how hot it is and other dangerous things around the house and I was not about to be the “parent” to these unruly kids—but, unfortunately, he didn’t say that part).

So, they show up. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law push their way into the house. They each try to be the first one through the door, because not only are they rude with me, but they are also rude among themselves because they really are THAT ignorant. So, after the Larry, Mo, and Curly act, my sister-in-law begins taking off the jackets and shoes of her kids. The adults take off their shoes and jackets too.

My mother-in-law is laughing like an idiot. Don’t ask me why. Whenever I see her, whether it’s at my home or hers, she doesn’t talk or say, “How are you?” She just laughs at you. I used to play along with her, but now I just stare blankly at her with a quizzical look that is a truer reflection of my thoughts. Anyway, I used to think it was a nervous laugh on her part because, one time, she broke a glass and started laughing. She didn’t even apologize. She just said, “That’s okay,” as if it was for her to determine what is okay and what isn’t in my home—but that’s a different story. The fact is, all she does is laugh, and it makes me wonder if she needs to be evaluated by some sort of specialist and put in a “home.”

Anyway . . . dumb thing number one from the sister-in-law:

She just finished pulling off the last shoe from her second child, then she says, “I didn’t know we were going to take off our jackets. I thought we were just going to pick up [my husband] and leave for the restaurant.” And she’s got this surprised look on her face and tone in her voice as if she has no idea how everyone’s jackets disappeared and how the kids lost their shoes.

She’s the stupid moron who decided to strip everybody down. I never told any of them to take their coats off. In fact, my husband was just grabbing his stuff to leave while they were doing all of this.

Then, since my husband now had more time because the sister-in-law had to immediately start dressing the kids again, she started asking me about what she should get my husband for Christmas while he ran to the bedroom for his wallet.

And this brings us to dumb thing number two:

My brother-in-law had a good idea to get the perfect Christmas gift for my husband that had to do with one of his special interests. My sister-in-law’s dumb idea, on the other hand, was to get him a child’s toy—specifically one that she wanted to get for her own children—so that my husband would have it around our home for when she brought the kids over to visit. This isn't speculation on my part. She ACTUALLY said this!

What I should have told her was, “What, in God’s name kind of present is that? You’re going to give your grown-up brother your own child’s toy so that you don’t have to spend any extra money on anybody but yourselves? Don’t bother getting him anything if you’re going to do that!” Of course, I was so taken aback (and I wish I could tell you the item, but if they ever came across this blog they would know for sure it was about them because there is NOBODY in this whole wide world who would have EVER thought of buying this item for anybody over eight years old—except maybe—a BIG maybe—as a gag gift). So, I simply say, “I like brother-in-law’s idea better.”

That stupid woman was shocked. She really thought I would take her side over her husband’s. She was so surprised that I thought my husband would enjoy a gift related to his hobby more so than a gift related to raising her children.

Her oldest child is now celebrating his fourth Christmas, and in all our years of exchanging gifts among us adults, the only gifts for the children under their tree were ones that we brought or friends of their family left for them. The parents NEVER left surprises from Santa. And they told us they would prefer if we labeled our packages as “From Santa” rather than “From Aunt and Uncle.” I refused this request outright. There is no reason on Earth that those kids can’t grow up knowing that we love them enough and think of them enough that we are delighted to treat them to surprises at holiday time.

Yes, I believe there should be “Santa” surprises. But why is it our job to supply that? Oh, stupid me . . . It’s so that the kids don’t ask why Mommy and Daddy never give them presents when all the other relatives do. Well, they’re the ones who don’t want to buy Christmas gifts for their kids, so that’s THEIR problem. (Oh, and they are not tight for money, or I would gladly play along. They have a half-million dollar home, six-figure salary, and all that sort of thing. This is just one more example of their manipulative crap.)

Stupid thing number three:

The sister-in-law decides, before leaving for the restaurant, that she will wash the children’s hands so they will be clean for eating. Now, like I mentioned earlier, she herself said that she had only planned on meeting my husband at the door and not coming in. (Which begs the question, why did all FIVE of them get out of the car?) That being the case, wouldn’t she have washed the children’s hands before leaving her house? Hmmm . . . So, she DID plan on coming in the house and getting comfortable in spite of the fact that we clearly told them they were not welcome to come this weekend. Is she a manipulative liar or what? And even if she DID wash their hands before leaving her house. It’s a twenty minute ride to our home. How dirty can they get in the car in twenty minutes? Also, it’s twenty minutes to the restaurant they were going to, so if in fact they are able to get dirty on a twenty minute drive, there would really be no need to wash their hands at our home anyway, because they would still be in need of washing on arrival to the restaurant anyway.

See my point? She’s a stupid woman. And I use the word "woman" loosely. She’s an immature girl is what she is. She lies. She manipulates. She can’t keep her stories straight. She can’t manage her children. She has no common sense. She worries about the speck of dirt they might have on their hands from the car, but then she serves food out of dirty dishes that she allowed the kids to play with on her dirty floors. Again, that's another story for another time.

I really hate people like her. It’s bad enough that she’s stupid. But the fact that she not only enjoys her ignorance, but seems to strive to be as idiotic as possible really pisses me off. It’s like she and her mother are having a moron competition to see who can be stupider. Usually I would say it’s a tie. But since this time all my mother-in-law did was laugh like a drunken hyena, my sister-in-law wins. Idiot!