Sunday, December 04, 2005

My Sister-in-Law's Mouth

Every time my sister-in-law opens her mouth, something stupid comes out of it. I could ALMOST tolerate her if she would just go mute. You would never guess in a million years that she is college educated and has a good career. But that’s all she’s good for. She has book smarts—only in her profession, however—and absolutely no common sense.

Because my husband and I weren’t going to be around for Thanksgiving, we agreed that we would have a nice dinner with his family after we returned from our holiday. When we were settling on a date to get together, I explicitly said that it couldn’t be this weekend. I had a meeting and a lot of baking to do for other engagements that I am involved in and would have no time for visiting let alone do additional cooking for a fancy dinner.

So, what do my ignorant in-laws do? They invite themselves over this weekend. What does my spineless husband say? Nothing, other than to say, “Come on over!”

To my husband’s credit, he does tell them that they will have to eat out at a restaurant because—once again—he reminds them that I do not have any food to offer them nor time to visit with them in my home (especially since they don’t supervise their kids and they love to play with the oven regardless of how hot it is and other dangerous things around the house and I was not about to be the “parent” to these unruly kids—but, unfortunately, he didn’t say that part).

So, they show up. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law push their way into the house. They each try to be the first one through the door, because not only are they rude with me, but they are also rude among themselves because they really are THAT ignorant. So, after the Larry, Mo, and Curly act, my sister-in-law begins taking off the jackets and shoes of her kids. The adults take off their shoes and jackets too.

My mother-in-law is laughing like an idiot. Don’t ask me why. Whenever I see her, whether it’s at my home or hers, she doesn’t talk or say, “How are you?” She just laughs at you. I used to play along with her, but now I just stare blankly at her with a quizzical look that is a truer reflection of my thoughts. Anyway, I used to think it was a nervous laugh on her part because, one time, she broke a glass and started laughing. She didn’t even apologize. She just said, “That’s okay,” as if it was for her to determine what is okay and what isn’t in my home—but that’s a different story. The fact is, all she does is laugh, and it makes me wonder if she needs to be evaluated by some sort of specialist and put in a “home.”

Anyway . . . dumb thing number one from the sister-in-law:

She just finished pulling off the last shoe from her second child, then she says, “I didn’t know we were going to take off our jackets. I thought we were just going to pick up [my husband] and leave for the restaurant.” And she’s got this surprised look on her face and tone in her voice as if she has no idea how everyone’s jackets disappeared and how the kids lost their shoes.

She’s the stupid moron who decided to strip everybody down. I never told any of them to take their coats off. In fact, my husband was just grabbing his stuff to leave while they were doing all of this.

Then, since my husband now had more time because the sister-in-law had to immediately start dressing the kids again, she started asking me about what she should get my husband for Christmas while he ran to the bedroom for his wallet.

And this brings us to dumb thing number two:

My brother-in-law had a good idea to get the perfect Christmas gift for my husband that had to do with one of his special interests. My sister-in-law’s dumb idea, on the other hand, was to get him a child’s toy—specifically one that she wanted to get for her own children—so that my husband would have it around our home for when she brought the kids over to visit. This isn't speculation on my part. She ACTUALLY said this!

What I should have told her was, “What, in God’s name kind of present is that? You’re going to give your grown-up brother your own child’s toy so that you don’t have to spend any extra money on anybody but yourselves? Don’t bother getting him anything if you’re going to do that!” Of course, I was so taken aback (and I wish I could tell you the item, but if they ever came across this blog they would know for sure it was about them because there is NOBODY in this whole wide world who would have EVER thought of buying this item for anybody over eight years old—except maybe—a BIG maybe—as a gag gift). So, I simply say, “I like brother-in-law’s idea better.”

That stupid woman was shocked. She really thought I would take her side over her husband’s. She was so surprised that I thought my husband would enjoy a gift related to his hobby more so than a gift related to raising her children.

Her oldest child is now celebrating his fourth Christmas, and in all our years of exchanging gifts among us adults, the only gifts for the children under their tree were ones that we brought or friends of their family left for them. The parents NEVER left surprises from Santa. And they told us they would prefer if we labeled our packages as “From Santa” rather than “From Aunt and Uncle.” I refused this request outright. There is no reason on Earth that those kids can’t grow up knowing that we love them enough and think of them enough that we are delighted to treat them to surprises at holiday time.

Yes, I believe there should be “Santa” surprises. But why is it our job to supply that? Oh, stupid me . . . It’s so that the kids don’t ask why Mommy and Daddy never give them presents when all the other relatives do. Well, they’re the ones who don’t want to buy Christmas gifts for their kids, so that’s THEIR problem. (Oh, and they are not tight for money, or I would gladly play along. They have a half-million dollar home, six-figure salary, and all that sort of thing. This is just one more example of their manipulative crap.)

Stupid thing number three:

The sister-in-law decides, before leaving for the restaurant, that she will wash the children’s hands so they will be clean for eating. Now, like I mentioned earlier, she herself said that she had only planned on meeting my husband at the door and not coming in. (Which begs the question, why did all FIVE of them get out of the car?) That being the case, wouldn’t she have washed the children’s hands before leaving her house? Hmmm . . . So, she DID plan on coming in the house and getting comfortable in spite of the fact that we clearly told them they were not welcome to come this weekend. Is she a manipulative liar or what? And even if she DID wash their hands before leaving her house. It’s a twenty minute ride to our home. How dirty can they get in the car in twenty minutes? Also, it’s twenty minutes to the restaurant they were going to, so if in fact they are able to get dirty on a twenty minute drive, there would really be no need to wash their hands at our home anyway, because they would still be in need of washing on arrival to the restaurant anyway.

See my point? She’s a stupid woman. And I use the word "woman" loosely. She’s an immature girl is what she is. She lies. She manipulates. She can’t keep her stories straight. She can’t manage her children. She has no common sense. She worries about the speck of dirt they might have on their hands from the car, but then she serves food out of dirty dishes that she allowed the kids to play with on her dirty floors. Again, that's another story for another time.

I really hate people like her. It’s bad enough that she’s stupid. But the fact that she not only enjoys her ignorance, but seems to strive to be as idiotic as possible really pisses me off. It’s like she and her mother are having a moron competition to see who can be stupider. Usually I would say it’s a tie. But since this time all my mother-in-law did was laugh like a drunken hyena, my sister-in-law wins. Idiot!


Anonymous Skinmeister said...

I can empathise with this. Personally, I would just tell them to piss off. But, if their kids really do run around unsupervised, stop looking after them yourself. After they've cut or burnt themselves a few times, their parents will soon stop visiting.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Glitter Native said...

HEYYY I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing with your in-laws only to burst in to laughter as I just posted of my sister in-law. We decided to do a family lunch at my house and it was a disaster from the start. She is a complusive liar and I'm so over it.
So that was the first of my being pissed off. The second is I just got a phone call saying her little brat of a kid has hives and she thinks she may have gotten sick from something in my house. I want so badly to give her the number of a good shrink. My home where I am always cleaning and dusting versus her home which is gross and messy and everything is covered in dog and cat hair. I'm so on the verge of telling them I wish to divorce them and get a restraining order. ASAP !! SERENITY NOW !!!

12:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought I was the only one with in-laws like this ! I especially loved the quote "the only gifts for the children under their tree were ones that we brought or friends of their family left for them" ... My BIL and his wife do that exact same thing !

They figure that the aunts/uncles & grandparents buy enough for the kids at Christmas, so why should they.

Thanks for blogging this :)
- Mike

4:43 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Thanks for dropping by and commenting, Skin Meister, Glitter Native, and Anonymous!

We got through our holiday very nicely this year. We spent time with each of our families and had a good time with each. My in-laws were actually pretty normal this year. But just as I was beginning to think I might not have anything else to complain about, they pull more of their antics today.

I guess they had to start the New Year off showing their true colors. In a way, I'm glad they did too. It keeps me from letting my guard down. I don't have time to blog about it now, but I'll post something in a day or two. I hope you come back.

Happy New Year everybody!

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my!!! That is so funny! My SIL is the biggest idoit! She is so stupid. My husbands mom and dad own a company and my SIL and I work there in the office together. As well as my MIL also. How fun!!! Not! MIL is a bitch who thinks her shit does not stink and SIL is a retard! The other day my SIL said that our e-mail started with www.! How stupid is that! Everyone knows that it doesnt. She thinks that she knows everything & she is on this pedistool. I am geting really close to knocking her off! Do you have any good comments to tell her off with????

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For 20 years I have overlooked my in-laws' "stuff," figuring it's not worth it. But the ignorance is astounding. They mock other people and spew racial comments, even in their presence, and no one calls them on it for fear of "no one wants to upset so-and-so" and cause a scene. So the more nothing is said, the worse it becomes. Meanwhile, the sister-in-law is extremely controlling. In a two-family house, we were visiting the other family, and we were told that we had to enter through the SIL's side of the house. We found out later it was because she would get all upset if "no one came to say hello to her." (I think we can still get away with not genuflecting and kissing the ring just yet.) Then SIL came out with a ridiculously stupid comment, and I just gave her an incredulous shake of the head, like "I can't believe you just said that," much like the Aflac duck would do. You should have seen her try to backtrack and dance off her comment. But no one else even thinks about doing this, and they just let her run roughshod. We finally moved far enough away that we only see these people once a year, where before it used to be rammed down my throat to see them three times within the same week at holiday time. Their ignorance and insensitivities just get more and more unbelievable, and everyone else tolerates it.

10:31 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

I'm glad you were able to move far enough away from the in-laws so that you don't have to deal with them constantly. My marriage could have possibly been saved if we could have moved a little further away, but the ex wouldn't do it. He made his choice. Now his life is as miserable as it ever was. My life, on the other hand, has improved in such dramatic ways I can't even tell you.

Good luck to you! And enjoy the distance!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Phyllis said...

How wonderful that you have moved on! Think of all the misery you're not missing.

It's interesting now to see my in-laws start to alienate other family members, and their behavior is coming home to roost. Now that I'm out of the picture and can't be the focus of their negativity, it's thrust upon others, and the family dynamic has certainly changed. Ah, finally, I was not wrong. And to think I could have stayed in that scenario and gotten badmouthed the rest of my life. I'd rather live in a tent all alone.

Good for you! Be careful about the next batch of in-laws you pick, if any!

7:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also am plagued with the idiotic s.i..l, dear God help me. We live in the same neighborhood! I am on the verge of a break down after their holiday shananagans. Her husband is just as idiotic as she. The dynamic duo. They gave their four year old a pocket knife to carry around, an actual blade! I can't believe it. Also, they came to Christmas dinner (at my house) with a present for everyone except me. Just lovely...I can't wait to get far far away from here. Try to stay same and thanks for the blog.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How rude, to slight you like that with presents for everyone else. Hope your husband has at least taken notice.

I'm so glad to be out of that atmosphere. My SIL claims to be so religious, then slams everyone and is so judgmental. She has her husband snowed, too. Last year I heard at their Easter table her husband gave a blessing, but in the blessing he told his grandkids that since they didn't go to church that day they would be going to hell. They immediately got up and left, but did return for the meal. Meanwhile, that message didn't get through, because SIL and the people who continue to take her shenanigans will never change.

If I were you, I would not host her again in my home. That is such a slap in the face. Plus, something terrible could have happened in your home with that blade, and you wouldn't want to be part of that. Good luck.

4:42 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Hi Phyllis,
I'm glad you commented. I have noticed that now that I've divorced my husband, my in-laws are just as dysfunctional--if not more--as they ever were. Their behavior, too, is "coming home to roost." My ex is still caught up in their web of drama. In some ways, I feel sorry for him. On the other hand, he allows it to happen. He even admitted that he knows it's wrong, but he has no intention of changing. He's too afraid of being "blacksheeped," so he's going to continue allowing his family to emotionally blackmail him. Acquiring a backbone would do him a lot of good!

8:48 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Anonymous1 and Anonymous2,

Thanks for commenting.

Anon1, I feel for you. In-laws living too close by spells trouble--at least our type of in-laws! Have you ever seen "Everybody Loves Raymond"? In one of the early seasons when Ray and Deborah were deciding where to live in relation to Ray's parents, he pointted to a circle he made on a map and said it was the ring of safety (or something like that). He didn't want to be so close that his parents would stop in all the time, but not so far away that they would have to stay for overnights when they visited. That always reminds me of our sort of situation. As much as we hate our in-laws being close, it can spell trouble if they're too far away also. Imagine if they have to come and stay in your home for a week or more straight! Yikes!

Anon2, your SIL sounds like my ex-MIL. She has just about canonized her own self as a saint. She's so dishonest, though. And sneaky and manipulative. Judgmental as they come too! What's worse is that she's teaching her ways to her grandkids (along with the ex-SIL). I don't know how my ex-BIL can stand it. He's a good father, but it's going to be an uphill battle for him to teach his kids any morals with those two evil women fighting all his efforts . . .

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, my SIL just recoded me (without my knowledge) reading a racist letter written by my husband's grandfather. I had not previously read the letter. I had no idea of its contents and they know how upset I am by racism. I looked up from reading the horrifying letter only to see she was video-recording me. I said why are you recording me? She said her husband (who wasn't there) wanted to see my reaction. He wanted to see my reaction of being forced to read a racist letter. Now, I am not talking to them. I'm emotionally damaged. I think I need therapy now just to get past the event. How malicious could two people be? My husband was out of town too. They wouldn't have done it if he were around and my BIL sent his wife to do the recording. I just can't understand it.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ARROGANT CONTROLLING MANIPULATIVE BITCHES!!! ( sorry bout the rage but just got back from dealing with my own stupid ass sister in laws and feel like disappearing into a world without them in it. ) I want to thank you for this blog and would gladly label my sister in laws with your words of expertise any day. AMEN!!

11:21 PM  
Blogger bashingblogger said...

Well, I'll give you a little of my story and see if this makes you feel any better.

Hubby and I have been married for 10 years, we have 2 boys. I have ALWAYS been very close to his mom, but I am always very cautious around his sister. She's an alcoholic (but won't admit it) and she's very manipulative.

Well, we all went on vacation in October to Florida. Before it was over, my MIL ended up kicking hubby, son and myself out of the condo because we "weren't spending enough time with her". Granted, she paid for the condo, but we paid for EVERYTHING else. Needless to say, my son is still scarred from this.

Anyway, we get home and none of us speak to each other. Then, out of the blue, we get a letter from his mom basically telling me what a horrible person I am. Are you kidding me??? Well, after that I decided to write both of them a letter. I told MIL that I was more of a daughter to her than her own has been. Then I told the SIL that she's an alcoholic and that I would no longer allow my children around that. Anyway, the fued is not over yet!!! It's still going on.

The conclusion that I've come to is I don't care what they think about me. I know that I'm a good person and that's all that matters. Even my husband will say "why do you even care what they think?" That's because he knows how manipulative they are, and I was just too blind to see that my MIL could be the same way.

I wish that I could offer you some advise, but I have none to give - I don't even know what to do myself. The last email I have sent to them stated that I am removing myself from the family and I hope that they have wonderful lives. The only one who has responded was MIL with "Are you kidding. You think you're perfect, don't you?" I haven't responded....I'm killing them with kindness. Hope your situation works out! Good luck!

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My inlaws are great, but I can't stand my SIL. She's a 10yrold stuck in a 27yrolds body! She asked her mom to cut her meat for her at a family dinner!

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! I've got the same sister-in-law. She is 35, has 3 children and doesn't parent any of them. She and all 3 of her kids are cared for by MIL. She doesn't have time to take care of them what with all the shopping.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds like your sister-in-law may be a little pushy, but it really seems like you are the jerk. Don't you think it is a little arrogant to believe that she should be like you. Your in-laws do seem a little uncouth, but at least they sound friendly. You on the other hand come across as an uncaring snob. Lighten up, be happy, and most importantly allow others to be happy.

2:44 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Sorry, Anonymous, but my sister-in-law (now ex-sister-in-law) is not just a little pushy. She is manipulative, dishonest, controlling, and has many other negative attributes which you can learn more about if you choose to read the other blog entries.

Whether I'm a jerk or not is irrelevant. When I am in my own home, I have a right to invite whoever I want to come over and visit with me. And if I choose not to have visitors on a particular day that is also my choice. My ex-SIL could never accept that fact because she has a need to be at the center of everyone's life--CONSTANTLY. It goes beyond neediness, which would be bad enough. What makes her worse is her need to ruin people's lives and destroy any bit of peace or joy that they can find for themselves.

As for the ex-in-laws being friendly. Please read the other blog entries. They are NOT by any stretch of the imagination friendly. They know how to act friendly, but they can never maintain the act for very long. Basically, they use people, talk behind their backs, and do what they can to sabotage other people's hopes, dreams, and lives. They are incredibly jealous people because their own lives are so empty and hollow.

I haven't said anywhere in this blog entry, or even on this site, that my ex-SIL or any of my ex-in-laws should be anything like me. They--along with anyone of average IQ--should, however, have at least a minimum of morals, a little empathy for others, and some basic manners.

As for being happy . . . I couldn't be happier. I have divorced the man who insisted on maintaining an emotionally-incestuous relationship with his family at the expense of his marriage. And I no longer have to deal with the ex-in-laws. The best revenge, I have found, is living well. I have moved on and found peace. They continue to suffer in their lives and can't figure out why except to blame everybody around them. God bless them . . .

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey all,

Like everyone here I have been ignoring my stupid SIL for 5 yrs now.I am trying to have a child and not yet gifted with one.And now in all these years I have learnt to enjoy, how not responding to my SIL's ugly comments irritated her.Yesterday all of a sudden this jerk has visited my parent's house and announced that my infertility has something to do with my mind.I have PCOS.No it has nothing to do with my mind.And she has called my sister to tell the same comment.She usually keeps her ugly comments and such things to me.This is the first time she's messing up with my family and today one of my cousins called me up to tell that my sister in law met with her and told stuff about me.I don't know why she's doing this campaigning.She has the same problem as me and just a week ago got a positive pregnancy test.Is it possible the pregnancy hormones are playing tricks and she's behaving crazier than usual?I have no idea how to stop her campaign.I can't give my name just in case she happens to see this blog, she 'll know it's her.I don't want to upset her during her preg.

6:13 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Your sister-in-law sounds very cruel to me. I wonder where she got her medical degree and where she learned about reproduction, fertility and all the associated issues . . . It's the people who know the least who always seem to have the answers, isn't it?

I'm not surprised that she has gone off to share her ill-informed opinions with your family. She's no longer able to get a rise out of you, but her ego demands getting a rise out of someone, and so she's trying to get it from your family. I hope you're able to talk to all the members of your family about this situation. Not as a way to gossip about your sister-in-law (because you don't want to be like her), but to let them know that they should take her remarks with a grain of salt or, better yet, ignore them all together.

I'm not sure if you can stop her campaign except by doing what you're already doing. It may get worse before it gets better, but if your family does as you have and not respond to her comments, she will eventually move on to other things for her ego boost.

The best revenge, as they say, is living well. Do that and you win. I know you are trying to have a child, but, until that happens, enjoy your life as it is. Your sister-in-law will want to hurt you by making you feel like something is wrong with you because you haven't yet had a child. Well, when she's tied down at home being the mommy, you take exciting weekend trips, go to late night concerts, enjoy the aspects of your life that are available to you now that you would have to hold back on otherwise. It'll drive her crazy . . . even if she doesn't admit it!

Bless you!

1:42 PM  
Blogger Priya said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you dear for ur blessing and the soothing reply.Luckily my parents understood her attitude and took it easy.But my sister is younger than me and is not as mature.She took matters seriously and tried to defend me it seems.But such things don't work with my SIL.Sister ended up crying it seems.My cousin knows about her too.And SIL has now approached some of my friends too it seems.And one of my friend has told her that PCOS has nothing to with some one's mind state and has shut her up.She's is behaving stupid.And over the weekend I have decided to just forget this whole thing and continue my life.I spoke to my sister and convinced her that I am happy and she is not to worry.Thank you again for the support.

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also have a very hard timem with my SIL who is a perpetual liar. She thinks she owns my house .. as her mum lives with us.. and its her brother's house she is coming too... She cant cook for nuts and doggy packs everything that is left in my house. Obviously her mum also encorages her. Can't believe how after 18 years of marriage , she still sticks to her mum, and has'nt learnt anything to cook and keeps depending on our house to pack all her favourite things! I hate her too and sometiems wish all the bad luck for her!

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate to say this, but seems to me like you are the one with the issue. You seem stuck up, (she should be smart, she has a college education) WOW! and is banking more important then life and family? You sound like my sister in law! and calling her a stupid moron, what makes you better then her? As far as I can see it, your are a stuck up little rich KID still. Grow up.

1:22 PM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

You're welcome Anonymous 1.

Anonymous 2, I really feel for you. My SIL and MIL used to take things from my home all the time. Not just leftover food either. I lost a wool winter coat, luggage, pots & pans . . . And when I found my items at their house, they weren't even ashamed. They believe they are entitled to anything they like. If they get caught, they laugh and just say they were making a joke . . . Pathetic!

Anonymous 3, I can't help think that maybe you're not so anonymous. Are you my ex-SIL? She used to say all the time that family was more important than anything, but it was bullshit. What she meant was that HER family was more important than anything. I had no right to pay any attention to MY family. In fact, the baking I was doing was baking that I had promised to my mother for a party she was having. And yes, I believe one should place high priority on promises made, unlike my ex-in-laws who, in over 14 years, NEVER kept a promise or an obligation of any kind. Growing up means not making promises unless you know you can keep them. And it means standing by your obligations. THAT is what makes me better than my SIL. My SIL and MIL knew in advance that on that particular day I would be spending time fulfilling an obligation to my mother, but they chose to intrude because of their need to be placed first . . . ALWAYS. They are the ones who need to grow up. If it's you dear ex-SIL, I advise you do that. It will serve you well . . .

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From day one my dramatic, narcissistic in-laws have been hostile to me. After 12 years of marriage my husband whom everyone loves is terminally ill with cancer. Hospice is helping out and doing a wonderful job.

Long story short...I call my SIL Prune because she's haggy looking from too much sun and her husband I call Pierre because he has a bitchy personality. Anyhow, Prune and Pierre came for a visit last week and got irate with me for the way I was dispensing my husband's meds.

Luckily the hospice nurse arrived and I took her to another room and had a good chat about the meds, my husband and the toxic in laws.

The SIL and I talked and I told her nicely I only take medical advice from medical professionals. SIL only has a license to do hair okay...she is a know it all busy body who is now an end-of-life expert in her own mind because she took care of her mother when she became ill and passed on.

To their credit Prune and Pierre have not bothered me the past couple of days...I also sent them an email setting boundaries for visits. The hospice nurse read the letter and stated that it sets boundaries. You have to do that with narcissists otherwise they will attempt to run you around by the nose.

Prune responded to the email with phony offers of help during this difficult time...blah, blah, blah. I always tune her out whenever she talks because she never lets anyone else get a word in. Like Sybil and all her personalities I take myself away to another place more pleasant than being around her.

My husband is a loving, kind, funny and generous man. I cannot believe he came from the same family.

8:51 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Congratulations on setting healthy boundaries with the narcissists. I wish I could have done that.

Stressful times can bring out the best in people . . . and bring out the worst in them too. Hopefully they will turn things around and start showing some of the better parts of themselves.

I'm so sorry for what your husband is going through and for what you must be going through also. Keep on doing what you need to do to care for your husband . . . and don't forget to take care of yourself too.

~All the best . . .

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi vengeance in law...Thank you so much for your kind comments. I have to say that having horrible inlaws sure has opened my eyes to how blessed I am to have family who loves me warts and all!

My husband has had some good days lately, so much so that we got the green light to go to my son's for Thanksgiving! My son married a lovely person whose family is awesome. Good luck to you and thanks again for your positive remarks.
Happy Holidays to you and yours.

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Vengeance...oops I forgot to say that the inlaws are trying their best to help.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Blaire said...

Ohh I can relate to sis in law problems. Mine is 45, manipulative, liar, schemer, holier than though. She has never been married, no children of her own, pompous arrogant, selfish, self absorbed and just a master of doing hateful things while seemingly appearing to be the ROSE. She's anything but a rose and lilly white, she is not. She is disgustinly obsessed and jealous of her only brother and hell bent on making our lives miserable. I know it's primarily about jealousy but also she is miserable over never being married and her brother is and she hates him for this. Also she hates me because I am not a fat, pimple faced troll like her. Also we have a beautiful daughter and she( the sis in law), is an old hag. (wonder why). She never paid a bill in her life ,and now that both parents are gone she did everything she could to stay in the family home and not have to buy my hubby out. She is a hateful person and has a sick obsession with hurting us. She works for priests and a fuenral home (big surprise). WE are 99.9% sure that she is and has been involved with both priests and married men. She was thrown out of a corporate job because she was prejudice and is an elitist and has this Superior attituse to many. It's all about jealousy and jealousy. She has made our entire marriage a misery and now we are completely cutting her out of our lives. She isn't used to her brother ignoring her so she has enlisted all relatives with her lies that we are the :"Enemy". Truthfully ,she really needs to get a life and stop obsessing over ours and hell bent on destroying. I just want her to move on and find herself a life. I am so over tolerating her B.S. It's been over 20 years of this poisonous witch and it's about time she gets lost. I feel for anyone with this type of disgusting crap to deal with. When I said I do to marriage I also said I do to facing the horrors of a spiteful. jealous, scheming witch for 20 plus years. Ughhh get lost.

2:32 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

Blaire, thanks for commenting! I can't believe how common this problem is. I felt so incredibly alone when I was going through all this. It says a lot that this particular blog post is the most popular of all my stats. There are a lot of crazy in-laws out there. I'll never understand why people can't simply play nice and be fair. Unfortunately, some people just don't have it in them . . . I wish you all the best with your situation!

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That story was the highlight of my day today...but count your blessings - atleast they don't live with you...some of the mind nmbing conversations i have to endure run on for 7 days a week - every week for life...atleast at the end of the visit they pack their looney bin buts into their car n go bak to their looney bin homes!

2:19 PM  
Anonymous vengeance-in-law said...

Of all the postings, this seems to be the one that gets the most comments. Go figure!

You're right. I'm so grateful they didn't live with me, although my ex-mother-in-law would come and have stay-over visits with us from time to time. Which was ridiculous, because she only lived a couple towns over--like a 15 to 20 minute drive away.

I used to say that she didn't stay over to actually visit . . . she stayed over in order to "mark her territory." It was a way for her to exert control over us. She's a very shallow woman, for sure . . .

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi...I absolutely loved your reponse to how you so clearly set your boundaries. I have a very difficult sister-in-law who is very manipulative. I am currently emailing back and forth over my brother's b'day....she asked if we could 'help out' with things and then proceeded to make a list. I am to buy supper for four, bring all the snacks and my brother's b'day cake. She will buy fireworks. I don't like that she is deciding what and how much I will spend. Her last email insists I buy the cake and then she signs it 'love you' ! No she doesn't. They also overorder when someone else is paying. They once got my Dad for $240 for dinner and then pretended they didn't know how expensive the restaurant was. I'll have no idea what I'm spending. But whatever I do, I put my relationship with my brother at risk. This sucks.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi I just wanted to say THANK-YOU for your blog - I so needed to see that i'm not the only one with rotten in-laws! I'm East Indian and my husband is German - His family are sooooo rude! the ignorant and racist comments are pushing me over the edge. I was just about to send an email to all of them to tell them to pissoff and then I saw your blog and had a good laugh.


4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi, your blog really helped me see i am not the only one with this kind of life, my in laws live with me and life is really drab. my husband and I are constantly having fights over them. my sil is really arrogant, manipulative and a deceitful liar, and they keep labelling and badmouthing me. they are driving me nuts, pls everyone pray for me and hubby to be able to move far away from these ppl who seem to be destroying any chance of happiness and peace in our life. i can completely relate to you, and wish you happiness in your life, amen.

3:50 AM  
Anonymous vengeance-in-law said...

Bless you, Anonymous. I wish you all the best in the New Year.

It amazes me how many people are in the same situation I was in. I really feel for you!

One thing I have learned is that bad times do pass. Keep your vision focused on the day you will be free of the manipulative ones, and that day WILL come. Good really does triumph over evil!

10:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

o God.. we are in the same situation, but we not marry yet.. huh

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MY SIL stole my husbands identity to co-sign a credit card as she had bankrupted herself. This happened before I met him. He discovered this when he was doing a random credit check. She also showed herself naked out of the shower to her sister's boyfriend, this was intentional, yet she tried to play it off as accidential. She carries half cookies and pieces of cheese in her pockets to feed her kid on outings. He is six. Before she buys her kid new sneakers she checks with her friends to ensure they have no old sneakers that their kids have grown out of. She told me she never buys new clothes for herself just wears what other people give her, (what they are throwing out). She owns a nice house outright in a european city. (no mortgage on it) She has a pay as you go cell phone with no credit on it ever, so she uses other's phones to make and receive calls. She allows her kid to punch others, yell, scream and throw items. . She wanted to paint her concrete floors (instead of carpet or any standard flooring). She wears 'granny panties' with low slung jeans, and her underwears ride up her back. She is too cheap to buy the appropriate underwears for the jeans. She never carries cash, and once took a quarter of a sandwich (my leftovers) on a 3 hour journey back to her home, for her lunch the next day. I could go on but I wouldn't. Mental illness, that is what I have just described.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live across the street from my brother in law and is 10 year younger fiance who is a totally insensitive dumb jock princess who expects everything to be paid for by others. She met him when she was 20 and he was 30 and moved right from her mom's house (who dotes on her) to his million dollar house with housekeepers where he does the same.

They travel the globe on his dollar and
her new car was paid for from grandma's trust fund and her mom still pays for it's insurance.

Still she complains that she didn't want to buy a new car yet when her old truck was totalled in a fender bender where no one was hurt.
How can you complain about a free car?!!
With no insurance payments?!?
She manages to.

She puts expensive drinks on her mom's tab when we're on vacation and has manipulated free flights to exotic destinations out of my husband's parents, even though the timing when she could go made it so that my husband could not. Did she notice or even care? No!

She is perfectly comfortable having everyone else foot the bill yet still insists that she is our equal, or above me.

She bosses me around telling me i should do as she does and ask for things I haven't paid for.
She treats me like i'm beneath her when she's 12 years my junior and has no life experience at all.

She's a baby trapped in a 25 year old's body as she's never had to support herself, pay her own bills, work a shit job, or struggle.

Her own sister calls her a princess as does my husband and she's so clueless she doesn't see this is an insult.

She's pretty and manipulative so some family members don't see how 2 faced she is, including my loving mother and father in law.

Oh, and she manipulates her soon to be husband as well, but since he's so inexperienced with long term relationships he doesn't see it.

It's like watching a movie from the 1950's where the woman bats her eyes and her big strong hubby takes care of business.


They live nearby and don't give a crap about how their behavior affects us because they are so self involved it never occurs to them.

In 7 years neither of them have actually ever asked me about how i am or how my life is, they just talk about themselves.

Why can't they move away!!!

I TOTALLY relate to you and I hope that you're in-laws move farther away or that at least your husband relates and can offer support...
so sorry!

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live across the street from my brother in law and is 10 year younger fiance who is a totally insensitive dumb jock princess who expects everything to be paid for by others. She met him when she was 20 and he was 30 and moved right from her mom's house (who dotes on her) to his million dollar house with housekeepers where he does the same.

They travel the globe on his dollar and
her new car was paid for from grandma's trust fund and her mom still pays for it's insurance.

Still she complains that she didn't want to buy a new car yet when her old truck was totalled in a fender bender where no one was hurt.
How can you complain about a free car?!!
With no insurance payments?!?
She manages to.

She puts expensive drinks on her mom's tab when we're on vacation and has manipulated free flights to exotic destinations out of my husband's parents, even though the timing when she could go made it so that my husband could not. Did she notice or even care? No!

She is perfectly comfortable having everyone else foot the bill yet still insists that she is our equal, or above me.

She bosses me around telling me i should do as she does and ask for things I haven't paid for.
She treats me like i'm beneath her when she's 12 years my junior and has no life experience at all.

She's a baby trapped in a 25 year old's body as she's never had to support herself, pay her own bills, work a shit job, or struggle.

Her own sister calls her a princess as does my husband and she's so clueless she doesn't see this is an insult.

She's pretty and manipulative so some family members don't see how 2 faced she is, including my loving mother and father in law.

Oh, and she manipulates her soon to be husband as well, but since he's so inexperienced with long term relationships he doesn't see it.

It's like watching a movie from the 1950's where the woman bats her eyes and her big strong hubby takes care of business.


They live nearby and don't give a crap about how their behavior affects us because they are so self involved it never occurs to them.

In 7 years neither of them have actually ever asked me about how i am or how my life is, they just talk about themselves.

Why can't they move away!!!

I TOTALLY relate to you and I hope that you're in-laws move farther away or that at least your husband relates and can offer support...
so sorry!

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I myself have a sister in law and am a sister in law to someone. Some of the stuff mentioned here is petty. I have noticed how when specifically a woman gets married, she expects her husbands mother or sister to take a backseat. I don’t understand this, as they expect to have a perfect relationship with their (the SIL's) family.

Respect and common sense is not something that can be taught. My sister in law, 2 days before her wedding yelled at my mom for not getting the right outfit, although it was. My brother has forgotten the sacrifices my parents specifically my mother has made for him.

Most of you here have kids, how would you feel when their significant other disregards you as a MIL or thinks that you are a "retard"? I always fail to understand why people do not understand that when you marry someone, you do infact marry their family! The lust fizzles out, but family is someone you can always rely on. They have seen you at your worst and your best, and your mother will love you no matter what.

To everyone here that has a problem with their SIL and MIL, how would you feel if the shoes were reversed and you were the SIL or MIL? Empathy and Tolerance are very important.I am certain that some people may attack me personally, however first address my comments and questions and then you may continue with the personal insults, as it is human nature to attack rather than to understand and solve.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woah. The salt factor here is beyond belief. Get over yourself already. You sound extremely envious of your sister in law's education and career. Perhaps you should focus less on your in laws supposed imperfections and more on your own. I mean, who lives with this much hatred? You need to reevaluate your attitude and possibly talk to a therapist.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous readytoexplode said...

I honestly thought i was the only one with this problem and i am soooo glad i stumbled upon this!

First of let me start by saying that my SIL and my BIL still live with his mom with their son. My husbands OLDER brother also doesnt work and none of them pay any bills. They are always bragging about their nice cars, clothes etc (that their parents pay for)and try to make me and my husband feel bad about our economical status. My husband (btw hes 23 and the brother is 27) and me just had a baby and im not working so all the financial responsibility falls on him so whenever we get a chance to spoil ourselves like going out to a fancy restaurant or something they make stupid comments like "that place is horrible but then again we probably have better taste in food". I personally dont let it get to me because i know that they just try to make us feel bad.

A month ago my BIL got his GF a really nice necklace for her bday and they pretty much advertised it to the world. When my bday came along i wasnt expecting anything since our financial situation was really bad at the moment so when my sister came to me and told me my hubby had asked my dad for a loan i was in complete shock. my husband would rather chop his leg before asking anyone for money ESPECIALLY my dad. i immediately asked what was going on and thats when everythig became personal to me.

He told me that he felt like a failure as a husband because he couldnt get me anything nice like his brother had gotten my SIL and it broke my heart. That night i had a talk with him and i told him he shouldnt compare our relationship with theirs. they dont pay rent or any bills but we did.

AND thats not the worst part out of all of this. My SIL is the definition of FAKE! she acts like shes you best friend just to get things out of you and then she tells everyone. I made the mistake in the beginning of being her friend until i slowly started realizing what she was doing. She still talks to my husbands ex gf and constantly invites her over to his moms house. i know its childish but i refuse to let her meet let alone hold my daughter. i find it extremely disrespectful.

One day she called me to come over and apparently my hubbys ex has decided to "pop in" unannounced. i immediately left and from that day on i have not been the same.

i just dont understand why she is like this. i have never done anything to her and it really affects the family gathering because i dont know how to act fake towards her

10:31 PM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

I haven't been here in months, and haven't posted blog entries in years, so it surprises me how many comments I still get. According to SiteMeter, this is my most visited posting, so I guess--for better or worse--it strikes a chord with many people. At one time, I really felt I was all alone in this experience of in-laws, but now I see that I was not.

There are many anonymous comments, so I can't easily reply individually, but for those who understand what I have been through: thank you for your words of support and encouragement. I do want to assure you that my life has moved on nicely. I have been divorced for several years now and, although it's taken some time, my life is almost rebuilt to the point that I would like it to be at. It has not been easy, but not having to deal with daily abuses (physical, verbal, emotional) from my ex and his family has made it all worth while. I'm no longer the same person who began this blog way back in 2005--6 years ago! There is no more fear, no more anger, and lots of love in my life.

For those who don't understand, I'd just like to say that I do have other sisters-in-laws and am sister-in-law to several others. The relationship I had with my ex's family can't even be compared to my other sister-in-law relationships. My ex's family is just so far different from any family I've ever known. It is what it is. Some families just can't accept "outsiders." By that, I mean, they consistently abuse ALL their in-laws. None of my ex's siblings have been able to have happy marriages and the family is now pocked with divorces.

My feelings toward my in-laws at the time I was writing this blog were the result of their abusive behavior toward me and due to isolation, this blog was the only outlet I had for those feelings.

The abuses they put me through don't appear in this one entry, but if you read others, you will get a clearer, albeit still incomplete, picture. (I don't believe I even got into the physical abuses.) I had no jealousy of my in-laws, as they didn't have (and don't have now) anything that I want. Actually, the only thing I wanted from them was for them to let me be a wife to my husband. All I wanted from my husband was for him to treat me with respect and not pretend I was invisible when his family was around. I realize now that the dysfunction of his family is far more severe than even I realized when I was still married. I wish my ex all the best of luck in life as he works on his issues and re-learns how to get along in life in healthy ways. The wish I have for my ex-in-laws is that they let him do that.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow im so sorry you have to deal with that :/ yikes i would have pulled. My hair out by now , hang in there hunny

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a horrible sister in law, my brother died last year and my sister in law has since been alienating herself from our family, she's been talking about us to other people, which is not surprising given the way she talks about others to us, she's been keeping the kids from us, getting short with our mum, she no longer turns up to family things and has made an already tough year unbearable, when people are around she goes out of her way to not talk to us, I don't know what happened as we were fine before my brother died..we do everything for her, pay off her debts, drop everything and run when the kids ring, pay for everything funeral unveiling...she barely talks to us anymore...I know she's hurting but we miss him too and she makes us feel worthless

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the end, life is short. Not everyone is going to fit to our expectations. The children are little, and a family is what we are given-hardships and all. I have a brother who married a woman that didn't want him to be around his family, and slowly but surely she managed to accomplish that through deceitful and hurtful lies.
No matter the pain she caused, if she would allow a relationship with his family, I would do it in a heartbeat in spite of her crazy, wicked ways. And why? Because I miss my brother.

10:34 AM  
Blogger vengeance-in-law said...

You're right. And I can understand a certain degree of foibles. But these weren't foibles. This was deliberate selfishness calculated to destroy my marriage. (Not the actions mentioned in this particular post. But many, many other actions meant to demean my husband--their own flesh and blood!--and shake his confidence and belief that anybody outside the family could ever love him, and also destroy my life in the process.) After my brother-in-law got divorced, my mother-in-law said to me, "I'm glad I got one of my children back. Now I'm going to work to get the others back." (Meaning my now ex-husband and my ex-sister-in-law who is also married.) Out of all the years of our marriage, we never had more than a half hour of "alone" time. No, we did not live with anybody. My ex was "obligated" to call his family/mother continually any time he was not with her. This meant we could never take a vacation or even a weekend trip alone. We could never sit and watch television for an hour or two on a rainy day. We could never sit through a meal together. These people did NOT have foibles. They have a lack of boundaries and lack of empathy for anyone, and that includes their own family. My ex-mother-in-law actually laughed and clapped her hands when my brother-in-law cried in tears that his wife left him. How does a mother laugh at her own child who is suffering and on the edge of a breakdown? It's easy when the mother is a selfish bitch. And even though she's now trying to destroy her daughter's marriage, her daughter is too stupid to see it because she's JUST LIKE her mother. A selfish bitch so wrapped up in herself that she can't see beyond herself to see what's being done to her . . . I don't even care anymore. In her case, she deserves it because she's been so deceptive to her husband in so many ways and he doesn't deserve that treatment.

I've been divorced 6 years now and my life is at the highest point it's ever been. I thought the best revenge would be this blog, but really the best revenge has just been living well and surrounding myself with good people.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ive been married for 18 yrs now what keeps on bothering me now why my brothers inlaws wife keeps on messaging on my husband facebook and keeps on saying how are you,take care always almost every day but my husband did not respond her letter what is the meaning of this,is my brother in law wife got attraction or felling to my husband? pls explain me.Anonymos

12:02 AM  
Blogger Ansar said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I solved a similar problem. I purchased a quantity of noisy toys: police whistles, bird calls, harmonicas, slide whistles, train whistle, etc. Each time a certain person visited with their rowdy children, I GAVE their children each a noisy toy. Naturally, the children took the toys home. Soon enough, these unwelcome visits ended.

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been married over 8yrs & my 3 daughters are the most evil,selfcentred,ugly people I know.they have always been in my husbands ears& April 2012 was one of the worst times.I had started my own business up,out of jelousy they started on my husband,bending his ears,to be far his always seen my side but this time he totally lost it,we argued& I ended up with 3 cracked ribs, black eye& bruises everywhere on my body.I'm from a boxing back ground so I have always been able to hit back for a 4ft 11 high woman,but he hit me in the ribs first time bcoz he knew I would hit back. Many months later I'm stronger now my marriage is on the repair& my in laws are slowly getting what they deserve. I don't talk to non of them now as before I was exspected to look after their children,I wasn't allowed to have my own life. I'm hitting them in the pockets as this is their weekness,I don't want to say how incase they see this.but revenge,anger& hate is my push.

10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband's sister is awful. She is in her 50's but acts like a little kid. She wants her brothers attention all the time. She gets jealous when we go somewhere and thinks he should take her. When she comes around you would think she is hid wife instead of his sister. I can't stand her. She talks all the time and repeats the same things over and over again but never gives you a chance to say anything. Her ex left her when their kids were babies and she never had anything to do with them. She is just reconnecting with her daughter now and yet she tries to take over and mother my children. Which wouldn't be so awful if the woman had common sense and knew what she was doing but shes is so stupid and knows nothing about kids. She switches boyfriends like socks and refuses to work but expects someone else to take care of her. If not a boyfriend then my husband is expected. She sits around her house all day and watches tv and doesn't understand why I don't want her to come visit and sit at my house. I am a stay at home mom and I also run a daycare out of my home. I don't like having visitors when I am trying to run my business. She finally has quit calling my phone because I never answer or call back. She calls my husband 10-20 times a day Abe he'll finally call her at the end of the day to see what she wants. Its either attention, money or shes complaining or bragging about what shes doing. She ruined my baby's first birthday so I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I have written her off.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My situation is the same .. I married my hubby after 8 years of live in relationship. I had really good relations with his mother, grandmother and sister.. but only after marriage something happened and they started seeing me as an alien in the family.. ?? Well my husband was never treated properly with respect in his young age by his mum dad and sister fir some reason .sk his grandma was all he had.. and when his grandma died noone cared to infirm him to attend the funeral. My inlaws live in India and we live in Australia. I was singing song praising his family everywhere I go and that would make my own mum upset sometimes.. she would think and say I don't care enough for her and which was true.. i would run whenever my mil or sil called... I would do anything for them... and I would always ignore my ill dad and mum for my inlaws. It all started with our marriage, when my mil and sil thought I will bring big dowry as I was living and working in Australia.. but that didn't happen as I spend every penny that I saved on this huge wedding, which now I think was a mistake. My mil asked for an audi???
Since then she has done many things which are such disgrace..and my sil is a compulsive liar, fake,arrogant and dishonest bitch whom nobody liked from the beginning.. I feel bad that I couldn't see all this in the begining. Anyways sil got married lastyear and myhubbys family paid for all the expenses but here my mil was always telling her friends how rich and affluent her son in laws family is.. whereas his family didn't even had money to buy cloths?? So him, his mother, grandma's and relatives were wearing cloths that my hubby' s family gave them in wedding present plus jewleries and I have heared now they want a car and a house too from my in laws.. no wonder my mil wanted me to give her money so that she can buy things for her daughter.. but do you think giving all that you have to this boy Will guarantee my sils happiness in future?? When my hubby tried to stop it there the cops were called by his own mother at his sisters advice to get him arrested... mind you i am also someone's daughter and sister.. but I would never do such a thing.. you guys should visit India once and see how people can kill for money.. every 20 mins a women dies for not being able fulfill inlaws greed.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girl my sister in laws are the Fakest ppl alive they smile in my face knowing they don't Care for me but always need me or act some type of way toward me then when I react they act like they don't know what's going on and my husband gets mad when I try and talk to him about his family

2:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this blog! Know that you all are NOT ALONE in the Dumb in law struggle! My In Laws are super cool except for my brothers wife. She's a serious psycho bipolar beeetch ..anyways nevermind the negative in laws....someone told me live the best life you can live and forget about them (referring to the stupid in law)

3:42 AM  
Blogger Claire Boyce said...

I have two evil sister in laws like this. Both nasty, one more stupid than than the other. The more stupid one was extremely nasty at the death of my father, but kept quiet when my mother died as I She is a complete bitch. Even a week after that at her horrible son's birthday party she introduced her brother in law - my husband and refused to introduce myself and our daughter. She has been extremely nasty to my daughter since she was born and she is only 6 now. The in laws put up with her petty behaviour which only encourages it. As she is such a child it disturbs me to think that her husband can actually sleep with someone that immature and thing it is not some crime.

5:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stand my SIL! She has an 8 yr old son, whom she doesn't take care of! She has never bought his clothes, toys, shoes, or anything and expects her mother to buy them for him! I have a 5 yr old who gets neglected because they say he is taking care of, and that's why we don't worry about him. My MIL gets my SIL's son off the bus everyday for her and watches him till 630 on some night!My MIL takes these issues out on my husband like it's his fault! I'm really starting to get burnt out on this whole situation because no one will stand up to her! When they do stand up she says im leaving or moving out because no one is on my side! I tell my husband she has it made! Where in the hell is she going to go to have a free babysitter and someone to take care of her kid! She cusses her mother out ALL the time threatening to hit her and calls her terrible names! I say something about how disrespectful this is and my MIL goes back and tells her everything I say with a twist! So it turns around on me! Please give me some advice I AM SICK OF THIS GARBAGE!!!! It]s coming in between my husband and I!!!!

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Saddened but stronger said...

Great! I have a forum to have a blast about the two ugly sisters!!! My SILs are my husbands brothers wives. Both are as thick as thieves, without each other they'd be lost. I think the word is bullies/cowards. On their own I'm sure they'd be okay but put together... wow just cleverly cruel. It has caused me great emotional pain over the past 15 years. Impacted on our marriage but I have never retaliated to them just expressed it to my husband (and some friends) very slowly he came to see the situation instead of defending the indefensible. He has been hurt by the BILs as well.

Just one experience one of many, I mean many!

Family wedding
We're invited just us, not our kids and their families. That's okay we understand you can't have everyone.

We then find out that the other brother's two children are invited to the wedding. One child is married with a daughter and she also has a long term boyfriend.

Next our kids were sent an evening invitation but the wedding was three hours journey there and three hours back. It was just a token gesture on behalf of the nephew getting married we suspect as it was so uncomfortable for him and his bride to be.

Did I mention that my son said that as he really likes this cousin, he wanted to go, drive up with us and WHAT wait outside while we all ate! Blood boiling! No I stood up to my husband and said I would not be going, finally he came up with a solution that I did accept purely for him and to keep the peace. He would lend my son his car so he could drive up later on, and also pay for my sons and his fiancé to stay at the hotel overnight. This was the arrangement..

We arrived on the day. To add insult to injury flower corsages were made for the prominent wedding family members and you've got it, for my SIL not me and pinned onto her by the other SIS right there in front of me! Yep that hurt. Salt into already big wounds.

Oh yes and then we're all put on the same table, just us two with the other brother's two children, granddaughter and her boyfriend. Ahem!. I took a very deep breath and determined to enjoy the day! Just one other thing to share on this. I don't eat red meat haven't for years SIL knows this. The main meal was served yes red meat. I asked was their a veggie option, to be told that it should have ordered, of course no one told me the arrangement. No worries I'll just have the veg, then the waitress came back with a special little dish from the kind chef. The SIL was watching this. Later she asked very sweetly if I'd enjoyed my meal, honest I'm laughing just thinking of the bitchiness. Oh well I have had my moan and do you know what? They cannot hurt me anymore, I just don't care, my emotions no longer hurt, its a real liberation to have let them finally go from my heart. So put on a brave face, big up to the biches, and above all don't stoop to THAT level.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your post really resonated with me about dumb in laws. I have a good MIL, but one of her daughters in law is a real piece of work. She has four kids, and no career or life of her own, so all she can talk about is the kids. Now they are good kids, no doubt, but it takes a lot of patience to respond politely when she jabbers on about them. She'll probably be pushing out baby number 5 in a few years time, and will be a complete Mombie by then. She has no class, laughs for no reason in the middle of a conversation, and is just all round annoying. I know I'm not the only one who can't stand her because I've heard other family members including my husband complain about what a pain in the butt she is. Phew! I feel better venting already. Good luck with your dumb in-laws!

12:28 PM  
Blogger Dɑniellɑ C. said...

I SOOOOOOOOO…empathize with you! I know the fucking feeling. My sister in law whose a 32 year old registered nurse is all book smart and I sometimes wonder is she's even that! 0 common sense. I'm a Registered Educator who works in the school board and has my own group of 23 students aged 4 to 5 years. - Not the point.
Now, I'm NOT a nurse! I know more medical shit than a supposed Rn and mother of my amazing 3.3 year old niece who has MORE COMMON SENSE than her own ridiculous, spoiled mother does.
She pawns things off to her sister and mother who live with her in her parents house. (By the way, my sister intentionally got pregnant with my niece. It's the unspoken truth)
I take her to the bathroom when she has to go. I DON'T embarrass her abs give her a negative complex. My husband and I even bought our niece underwear, hoping my sister inlaw would catch the fucking drift! She's so lazy. Grrrr…

10:53 AM  

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